Daily Archives: 06/17/2011

Learn it. Love it. Live with it.

Reminiscing is quite amusing at some point. Upon checking my old blogs at my short-lived and now lost aybanlim.multiply site, I saw some interesting entries, most were silly, but some just reminded me of how I am back then. Fast rewind, had I really gone through that before? Did I just type those entries? Pathetic would be harsh, but I did almost crossed that…

My July 21, 09′ entry:

Enamored. The state I am currently being dragged into, causing my heart to break and my mind to lose control.

I’m still in trance after a long stretch of physical, mental, and emotional ups and downs. It’s my second day at the office and I have not been busy this much for quite a while. I waited long to be this occupied, this is the easiest and most productive escape I can get and the fact that my office mates are as equally humble and kind and accommodating as my peers is a big bonus, but all this does not help to lighten the short-lived enchantment from my adornment to someone dear to my heart, and it is really getting worse.

I’m working full-time now, I wake up five thirty in the morning, reach office after two hours of travel and traffic, leaves at seven-thirty, and gets home by eleven… the kind of schedule that I wanted to keep my mind off from wandering on off-putting downbeat of reality.

Love is really making me miserable. I am beginning to hate the very concept of it. Bitter I am not; it’s just that it seems that I have received all the misfortune this crap can give. Falling for the right one at the wrong time, wasting time waiting for nothing, expecting, assuming, and gaining zilch and but a slap-in-the-face dose of bitter truth that I am stupid.

This entire emotional affliction, the never-ending calls of distress, the fast ending euphoric events that I badly miss, consumes every bit of my realistic prowess.

But then, I’m getting the hang of it, I’m learning to play the game. The past few days, I really changed… a lot; I’m already learning to live a carefree life. No hassles, no expectations, no demands, no pressures, no pain… and not even wondering what comes next or what to do tomorrow… all fun. The influence of the mean and happy-go-lucky world is starting to unveil and I’m very much willing to embrace reality now neither at its best nor to its worst. Come what may… I’ll just enjoy  what’s around.



9 Signs That Your Friend is Toxic

"Books and friends should be few but good."

The colloquial term “frenemy” was coined to describe a complicated relationship wherein a person causes a friend such pain and anguish that there is a blur between this person being your “friend” or “enemy.” Why is it so hard to tell the difference between the two opposite words that society had to create a fuzzy word to describe a shade of gray?

Friends have become a fabric of our lives — which also explains why it hurts us so when a friendship is fraught with confusion, heartache and tears. Let’s face it: A mean friend is just as scarring as a bad mother or partner.

The 9 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship

1) Your friend is jealous of you. Jealousy is different from envy and the first can be very toxic for the relationship. Jealousy is: “I want what you have and I want you dead or disappeared.” Envy is just: “I want what you have.” A jealous friend will want to cut you out of her life because she really wants what you have and can’t stand to be around you anymore. An envious friend will want what you have, but will look to you as her inspiration or role model, and compete with you to get in the lead.

2) Your friend is a “doormat”: It’s tiring to always be with someone who is so malleable.

3) Your friend wasn’t there for you. It’s sometimes hard to see if a friend is really a true pal until there is a life-changing moment in your life that requires the person’s support. This eye-opening event is called The Inciting Incident, which is when everything is going along fine, until wham! someone gets sick, or loses their job, or gets married or loses a loved one, and you find that the friend you thought would be by your side isn’t there for you at all. She doesn’t celebrate your good news nor does she help you in times of need. For some women it takes an “inciting incident” to finally notice that a friend is toxic.

4) Your friend is draining you: You feel you’re psychologically and emotionally giving all your energy to her and receiving nothing in return.

5) You don’t share the same values or the same world view: It’s a red flag that this isn’t the right friend for you if you don’t respect her for who she is. I interviewed a woman who wished her friend’s husband ill. It made the married woman realize that her friend’s behavior is nothing like her own.

6) You are using one another: This type of toxic relationship develops among socialites. You want to be friends with your neighbor because your children attend the same private school and you can coordinate a carpool. Will the friendship last? Maybe. Is there really a friendship between the mothers or is it just using? Is it worth turning this friendship into anything more than an agreement?

7) The relationship offers no return on investment: This is similar to a friend who is draining you – but this isn’t just an emotional give and take. If you are the one calling your friend to make plans and going out of your way to be with her, but she makes no attempt to go out of her way for you, then she’s not meeting you halfway.

8 ) Your friend is harming someone else or doing something illicit. Do you want to be associated with someone who is morally unjust? That’s a judgment call on your part.

9) Your friend burdens you with a secret: Your friend trusts you by sharing the details of her affair, but keeping the secret has weighed on you emotionally. You might want to keep your distance. If you’re too close to this woman and the secret is really impacting your life for the worse, it’s time to disengage yourself.

How to Disengage: If any of these signs describes one of your friendships, it’s likely to be a toxic relationship that’s burdensome to not just your sanity but his/hers as well. You could deliberately distance yourself and let the relationship fizzle into oblivion. If you would like to renegotiate the relationship and improve the friendship, have an honest conversation to reveal how you feel. You’ll risk losing this person, but the reward could be improving the quality of the friendship. Honesty is the best policy. Say: “I’m really upset you didn’t do this and this. And I needed you there to do this and this.”

To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.

“To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.”

Need I say more? Before you push yourself into being someone, trying to be the coolest dude/chick in the world, think again: Do you really need to be that? If you ain’t cool enough, why do you have friends?

You never know, the “self” that you think that sucks might be the coolest person in the world for some.

ADSpiration: McDonald’s Sandwich for the Experts

A picture is worth a thousand words but in the case of a printed ad, things are different. Besides the main message, it must be persuasive, to arouse curiosity and attract new customers.

Add this to the long line of super smart ads of one of the most successful fast food franchise internationally (thanks to ads like this), McDonald’s.

Sandwich for the Experts

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