Daily Archives: 08/06/2011

Types of Job That Will Destroy You: The Girl

Any of you could wind up in one of these jobs, at any moment, without realizing it. The shitty jobs I’m about to describe aren’t specific positions or industries — they’re situations. Some of you — hell, maybe even most of you — are already in one of them.

The thing is, when people try to think up the worst job possible, most of them go right to shit. As in, “It could be worse, you could be shoveling shit somewhere!” or “At least we’re not working in a sewer! In shit!” But that type of job isn’t as bad as you think — you actually get used to the smell of poop, the same as you acclimate to a job where you work in brutal heat or bitter cold.

But these jobs below? They’re the ones you never get used to, where the longer you do it, the more it eats away at you. So let’s take a moment to say a prayer for …

#7. The Girl

Also Known As:

The lone representative of your gender in the workplace.

This could also be “The Guy.” It works either way. I suspect it’s harder being the lone girl in a shop full of dudes than being the lone guy in a female-dominated office, but mainly I say that because I want to see the Men’s Rights dipshits show up in the comments section.

For Example …

You’ll find it in every auto body shop with a secretary — one female working the desk and 10 greasy men working on engines (and don’t accuse me of stereotyping — 97 percent of secretaries are women, 99 percent of auto mechanics are men).

It’s no fun. There is the obvious sexual harassment element of it, which I barely need to touch on since you’ve been on the Internet and have seen what happens when a girl shows up on a male-dominated forum (“TITS OR GTFO”). It’s the same in real life, only it’s not as overt. But it is far more awkward, as there is no escaping it unless she quits. So the tension is sustained for eight or nine hours a day, every day, for as many years as she works there. And it’s a no-win; if The Girl reacts badly to a crude joke, she’s a bitch. If she replies to innuendo with innuendo of her own, then it’s, “Dude, I think she’s into me!”

“I can name 200 pornos off the top of my head that start exactly like this.”

Not that it isn’t awkward for, say, a male nurse who statistically will be the only penis owner in the vicinity. It creates a different though equally weird tension, because there are things women only say around other women (usually regarding what douchebags men can be). Also, there are plenty of members of both genders who regard any member of the other as the enemy. What I’m trying to say is that being a young dude in close quarters with a bitter, divorced mother of three is no fun.

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