Reminiscing is quite amusing at some point. Upon checking my old blogs at my short-lived and now lost aybanlim.multiply site, I saw some interesting entries, most were silly, but some just reminded me of how I am back then. Fast rewind, had I really gone through that before? Did I just type those entries? Pathetic would be harsh, but I did almost crossed that…
My July 21, 09′ entry:
Enamored. The state I am currently being dragged into, causing my heart to break and my mind to lose control.
I’m still in trance after a long stretch of physical, mental, and emotional ups and downs. It’s my second day at the office and I have not been busy this much for quite a while. I waited long to be this occupied, this is the easiest and most productive escape I can get and the fact that my office mates are as equally humble and kind and accommodating as my peers is a big bonus, but all this does not help to lighten the short-lived enchantment from my adornment to someone dear to my heart, and it is really getting worse.
I’m working full-time now, I wake up five thirty in the morning, reach office after two hours of travel and traffic, leaves at seven-thirty, and gets home by eleven… the kind of schedule that I wanted to keep my mind off from wandering on off-putting downbeat of reality.
Love is really making me miserable. I am beginning to hate the very concept of it. Bitter I am not; it’s just that it seems that I have received all the misfortune this crap can give. Falling for the right one at the wrong time, wasting time waiting for nothing, expecting, assuming, and gaining zilch and but a slap-in-the-face dose of bitter truth that I am stupid.
This entire emotional affliction, the never-ending calls of distress, the fast ending euphoric events that I badly miss, consumes every bit of my realistic prowess.
But then, I’m getting the hang of it, I’m learning to play the game. The past few days, I really changed… a lot; I’m already learning to live a carefree life. No hassles, no expectations, no demands, no pressures, no pain… and not even wondering what comes next or what to do tomorrow… all fun. The influence of the mean and happy-go-lucky world is starting to unveil and I’m very much willing to embrace reality now neither at its best nor to its worst. Come what may… I’ll just enjoy what’s around.
As they say… LEARN IT, LIVE IT, LOVE IT – DEAL WITH IT.