Tag Archives: Relationships

Questions to Ask Yourself On Making Tough Life Decisions

I think we can all agree that life can be a real b*tch at times, as it puts us in situations that require us to make difficult decisions – decisions that, no matter what, would entail heartache, headache, or both. Some of them require a true sacrifice, while others involve big risks.

To help you deal with such trying moments in your life, here are four questions you could and should ask yourself before making the final decision. I hope at the end of the list, you will find the answer that is already in your heart and make the right and best choice. So here we go:

1. “What does my heart say?”

Listen to your heart. Breathe in, breathe out, and listen. If it doesn’t work, try a few more times. Close your eyes, breathe in, breathe out, and listen… Don’t focus on the big mess of thoughts in your head right now. Focus on what your gut feeling tells you. Find that answer and hold on to it.

Always trust your instinct. I’m not saying that your parents’ or your friends’ advice and suggestions are bad for you – and we should always be appreciative of the love and concern from our loved ones, no matter how much they may bug us – but at the end of the day, it is you who knows yourself best.

You are the one who truly understand what you want and what you do not want. Deep down, you know what’s best for yourself.

This is your life. You must be its dictator. Don’t let someone else do your thinking and soul searching for you. The responsibility to seek the truth inside your heart lies in your hands. Don’t let other people’s guesses about your life, or your future, sway or mislead you. Use your own intuition.

It is not always easy to listen to your heart, and it works differently for different people. For some, the best way to do so is to go out for a quiet walk alone; the peace helps them sieve out the more significant things in their minds. For others, running or hitting the gym, and experiencing the pain and the weakening of the physical body, helps to clear up their heads. (This is why many athletes are such clear-headed, focused and determined people.) In any way, always listen to your heart.


2. “What am I afraid of?”

Difficult decisions come with high stakes. When there is much to gain, there is much to lose. Ask yourself: What am I afraid of losing? Is it money? Love? Reputation? Dignity? Popularity?

Or is it because you’re afraid of disappointment, to lose hope in yourself if you fail? Sometimes we are afraid of making big decisions that involve huge changes in our lives because we fear that if we do fail, we might not be able to pick ourselves up again.

To counter this fear, you need to accept that we all fall from grace from time to time. Know that no one is invincible, or immune to a little misstep here and there, and occasionally, a huge one. We are all humans, not gods. Well, even angels and gods can fall from power.

And yet, as ordinary people, each of us possesses a special gift: the resilience of the human spirit – the ability to bounce back each time we fall. Fall down seven times; stand up eight. When life knocks you down, stand back up and keep trying.

Sometimes, we don’t wish to be the one making the decision also because we are afraid that if we were to be wrong, the responsibility of it all falls solely on us. There is no one else to blame, no one else to point the finger at. However, you should also realize that everyone makes mistake.

No one is perfect, or 100% right all the time. Yes, there would be a price to pay if you fail, but then again, you would also gain something in return: a lesson. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Think of it as meant to be. Be determined to get something out of the decision and the experience that follows, whether you succeed or fail, rise or fall.

A Japanese proverb reads: “Anzuru yori umu ga yasushi.” Its literal meaning is that giving birth to a baby is easier than worrying about it. What it serves to explain is that the fear you experience is probably greater than the danger itself. Your attempt is likely to be easier than expected. So if you are afraid, then do it afraid. Trust me, courage will follow.


3. “Who/what am I doing this for?”

You have to figure this out right from the start. This is what will anchor you during the fight and the struggle following the moment the decision is made. This is what you will go back to, again and again, whenever you feel discouraged, disappointed or hopeless.

Is it just for passion? Is it also for money, or success? Is there something else? Often, our bigger goals are combined with other small or hidden goals, which we fail to perceive or choose to ignore. Never let yourself be denied of the truth that is already inside you.

One day the suppressed truth will pop up when you least expect it and tell you that everything you’ve worked for is done on the basis of a lie you tell yourself. So be honest with yourself. Know who you are and what you want. Take this as a learning process to get to know yourself better as a person.

When you know what you want, make it your goal. Focus your mind on it, and be happy about it. Remember: Positive emotions will put positive energies towards your goal. This positivity will make your journey towards achieving this goal smoother, as it will attract other good things along the way.

The law of attraction can work in many mysterious ways. Make a conscious effort to stop worrying. Think about the good things, not the worst-case scenarios.

You don’t always need to take great leaps of faith. Sometimes, it’s the baby steps that matter. Take one step at a time; take each day as it comes. There is no shortcut to success. If you want it, you’re going to have to work for it. But always keep in mind: Enjoy life, not endure it.


4. “If I don’t do this now, will I regret in the future?”

Yes, regrets. We all hate regrets because regret makes us feel empty, like something is amiss in our life. Regret makes us feel like we have done something that we shouldn’t have, or we haven’t done something that we should have. Regret makes you wish that you could turn back time, so there’s a second chance for you to make things right.

Regret can be addictive, because it puts us in a cycle in which we imagine the could-haves, and then become disappointed upon realizing the impossibility of them becoming real. To relieve ourselves of the pain, we go back to imagining again because then, in our minds, we feel powerful and in control once more.

For every decision you make, there is an opportunity cost. Simply put, in life, you win some; you lose some. You can’t have everything. This especially applies to time. You do not have all the time in the world. Life is short. I say this because life is unpredictable; one day you are here and the next you could be gone.

Well, the truth is, we don’t have full control over everything, even if we’d like to think that we do. Lost chances can keep us up all night because they prove that things can come and go without our approval, or without us being at all prepared for their departure. An opportunity does not need your permission before slipping right through your fingers.

When you choose to stay in your comfort zone instead of stepping out of it, you might miss out on an opportunity that will not come by a second time in your life. In the worst of scenarios, regret leads us to hate ourselves. Our lack of courage and prudence makes us feel so small and so incapable of achieving something bigger than our present self.

Regret is a powerful emotion that can topple even the most spirited person. Do not let regret into your life. Let the could-haves be. What is in the past is exactly that, in the past. It cannot be changed.

At the end of the day, we all want to be winners in life. We want to know that we have made the right decisions. Success is a matter of perception, just as happiness is. They are both very subjective. Keep in mind that no decision is purely good, or bad. No matter what decision you make in the end, believe that it is your best choice. Choose to be positive and confident about it.

In ending, I’ll leave you with a quote from Paulo Coelho:

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”

 Listen to your heart. Be bold. Set a goal. Take a chance.

Advertisements

MY SUMMER

My Summer is nearing its end. She’s gonna shine somewhere else. I’m gonna miss her smile. And the warmth that comforts me.

Its been a quarter, and I did not need to go to any beach or vacation to make this summer the best I had so far. You changed me, you taught me lessons, you made me realize things.

Someone told me that our lives aren’t a big thing(*guess it means something important)
They pass on the instant as discolour roses
Someone told me that the time that pass is a bastard
that is making topcoats from our grief
However someone said to me…

Refrain

Who do you still love,
This is someone that’ve told me that you still love me.
Is it possible then?

Someone told me that the destiny is scoffing at us
dont’t give us anything and that promise us everything
Appear that the happiness is only for the reach hands
Then they tighten the hand and find themselves crazy
But someone have told me…

Refrain

But who can tell me that today you are loving me?
I don’t remember more it was late in the night,
I’m still hearing the voice, but I don’t see anymore the ?points?
“He loves you, it’s a secret, don’t tell him that I tell you”
You see, someone told me…

Who do you still love, he really told me…
Who do you still love, is it possible then?

 

I will never forget you Summer. Shine bright and smile, you’ve been spending your lifetime caring for others, lifting them up with your light, its time for you to think of yourself. Be happy. You deserve it.

I will miss you.

I will never forget you.

And your sweet smile will always be welcome in my life no matter what.

I’ll get better I promise, I’ll be prepared just in case there would be an Autumn.

This is not goodbye.

Thank you.


MAGIC

Image

A typical stage magic is a performing art that entertains audiences by staging tricks or creating illusions of seemingly impossible or supernatural feats using natural means. These feats are called magic tricks, effects, or illusions.

And then, there’s Reality magic. The grandest of the illusions performed at the brightest stage there is, life.

Reality is the illusionist.

We are the audience.

 

I. The Pledge.

Reality shows us something that appears ordinary but is probably not, making use of misdirection. It seems normal and fair but all is not what it seems. It could start as a normal day like any other, same time you wake up, same routine, and then there’s a split second of coincidence that de-cloaks the awaiting magic.

This would be the time when your mind and heart is free from any form of suspicion. No matter how cautious you are, you can never escape it cause’ no one can ever expect or foretell how the setup, the pledge would be introduced.

This is the perfect time for the illusionist to introduce to us his assistant, love.

 

II. The Turn.

Next is the performance, or the “Turn,” where the illusionist makes the ordinary act extraordinary.

You wake up one day and realize that everything has changed. Everything went so fast, and you start questioning yourself if you have done enough to catch up with the flow, or if you should really go with the flow.

By this time the illusion has started. Reality most likely had directed all your attention to his assistant making you care less of what is happening outside the theater, or even how your seatmate is doing.

Suddenly, all the things that you do, everything that you wanted, and most of the plans that you would be building for the following days will evolve around the assistant. The illusionist would make you crazy over his assistant like a child is to his first toy. You’ll never get over it. Even if you do in the future, none will make you forget it.

Just when you are so into it, when love has been the apple of your eye, the illusionist will close the magic box, will pull down the curtain of chances and confusion to cover it and within a countdown, the assistant would disappear.

The colorful magic box full of hopes and promises that once held the assistant would also be the same box that made her disappear. Gone from sight, and maybe gone for good.

All of these are misdirection. All real and, yet, you WANT to believe that these problems are solvable at the wave of a wand by the Illusionist.

 

III. The Prestige

Lastly, there is the “Prestige,” where the effect of the illusion is produced.

There are “twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance and you see something shocking you’ve never seen before.” Or maybe something familiar but you refuse to accept that it’s the same stories only different situations.

Makes you hope that the illusionist would approach us and ask for the grand ending we prefer, just like what a performing clown would do on our birthday party held in our own backyard. That will not happen, because you’re not at home, you’re not the illusionist’s master, you are on the biggest stage called life, you are already a part of his performance.

You made yourself too attached with the assistant, now there’s no going back. There’s no use trying, even if you’d be able to get a step back, nothing will be the same again.

And then with the just a wave of a wand, the assistant would reappear. But there’s a catch; the place where the assistant would reappear changes for an added impact. It may be on the same box where she left, on the center stage where you can see her but cannot reach, beside another audience, or if you are lucky, and you have proven to be the best audience around, Reality might be kind enough to make her assistant reappear at your lap, where you can appreciate the prestige way better than anyone else inside the theater would.

This is just a phase; the illusionist has hundreds of tricks off his sleeves. He has many more charms to pull off his hat. There are many other forms of diversions; the stage called life where reality performs has many hidden surprises.

Above everything, what matters is that your assistant is back in sight. She’s okay, but it doesn’t mean that she will get near you to shake your hand, thank you for being there and ask you for a coffee after the show.

Confettis will fall, pop ups will blow, flashes of lights will go brighter, and the act is done. You walk away from the event thinking that what you saw can’t be real yet you still believe.

I believe. I will never get tired of magic. And I will one day break the magician’s code.

Fade to black…


IT’S COMPLICATED

Image

It seems like complication is the motto of this generation. It used to be just math problems but it seems math is simpler than relationships or the lack of it and those in between.

My unending question is, why does it seem sometimes that everything feels okay one day and then it’s the other way around the next. Everyone wants to be able to give a clear answer when asked.

Have you seen people using the phrase “it’s complicated” to describe their relationship status on social media profiles? Is there any chance that you’ve used that description yourself?

Relationships don’t seem to be the only thing getting more complicated these days. Why do you think that is? If you could pick out one major reason why life seems more complicated than it used to, what would you say?

Complicated is, as complicated thinks. While there are no doubt many contributors, here’s a reason you probably didn’t think of. As it turns out, dealing with complex issues actually conditions us to look for complicated solutions. This means that we often overlook simple solutions, even when they are right in front of our face. Could it be that our own thinking is actually making things more complex than necessary?

Now rest assured, I’m not saying that everything is always simple. Truth is, some things are more complex and require complex solutions. The point I really want to make is that we should look for a simple solution first. That means avoiding the tendency to assume that our challenges are more difficult than they really are.

Let’s go back to “relationship status” for a moment. Could it be that a large dose of honest communication would uncomplicated things considerably? Avoiding honest communication can complicate the daylights out of a relationship. Maybe we have been assuming things about the other person that simply aren’t accurate. Why not ask them to tell you how they feel instead of jumping to conclusions.

Image

All long term, meaningful relationships will face challenges from time to time. Don’t get hypnotized by the seeming complexity of the situation. Try to keep it simple, open, and honest, and see if things don’t end up feeling much less complicated. I think you will be glad you did.

Do ourselves a favor, let’s stop complicating our life. Let’s uncomplicated situations.

 


10 Signs that Your Girlfirend is a B*tch! (Not Mine, Just Read It!)

I was reading past articles on AskMen.com, and I don’t think I have posted this one yet, so let me get to it. It is the 10 signs that your girlfriend may be a steaming bitch. My question is, how many of these qualities are you willing to tolerate? If your girlfriend is guilty of say, 3 of them, is it time to breakup with her? Get your checklist out and I hope none of these sound familiar to you. Click below to read the 10 signs your girlfriend may be a bitch.

1. She flirts with other men.
2. She embarrasses you in public.
3. She bosses you around.
4. She never pays.
5. She treats people like trash.
6. She slights you in bed.
7. She expects to be treated like a queen.
8. She’s cold hearted.
9. She criticizes everything about you.
10. She’s self centered.


Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something that does.

Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something that does. Again – Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something that does – need I say more?

You don't always get a second shot, at least give your best once you get one.

I admire those who keep on saying that they’re living a life of no regrets. I wonder if they had never committed the mistake of taking for granted something, overlooking at things, while wasting all the good everything around them by being stupid, not appreciating what they already have, how lucky they are at the moment, and still spoiling it by doing things they would have lived happier without anyway.

If you are one, you have my thumbs up for being strong, but at the same time, my utmost sympathy. I hope you’d learn soon. Sooner before everything good around you gets completely lost. I wish you wake up one day seeing what you really wanted. If what you have with you right now is life you wish to live in the future, or even just the path to take in the years to come, then make a move. Stop killing the  happy life you are living by wasting time and effort with non-worthy things.

Worth, love, life and happiness are short but deep words. Words that in the harsh path called reality doesn’t always come together, aren’t given in an instant, and never easy to achieve. So if you are lucky to have felt it, cherish everything. Do not waste a second by taking it for granted. If it is another person who have shown you these words, keep my word, that individual is a gift. A keeper.

Never miss a chance. Never waste a moment. Life is short but sweet, happy but heavy, so if by chance you are lucky to have crossed paths with that someone or something that makes you feel complete, or had given you the feeling of contentment, that often underrated word called worth, please, never ever waste it by any means or learn life’s lessons the hard way.

Think about this, losing something even when you have tried and given your all is easier to live with than having that something and losing it on some worthless matters is far harder to live with in a lifetime.

Again, Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something that does.

*sigh* Sorry, this sounded like a personal rant, indeed it is. I know the thought is vague, some might see this pointless, but please, just this single post. I have no one else to talk to right now. Thanks.


“It’s Complicated”… IT ISN’T!

Oh, so your  Facebook relationship status says “it’s complicated.” Not “single,” or “in a relationship,” but “it’s complicated.” I bet it is. You’re complex, like Algebra. A mystery, stuffed in an enigma, wrapped in a flaky pastry. No one understands you. It’s complicated! You have so many feelings!

Ha, ha. I’m joking. It’s not complicated. Your life isn’t complicated.

Here’s what “it’s complicated” means: I’m a fussbudget who can’t make a decision. A vain little mumbledouche with tear ducts full of whiskey. It also says: I will probably sleep with you.

Look, either you’re single or in a relationship. Pick one or don’t pick one. Facebook doesn’t require that you advertise whether you are in or out of a relationship. Facebook doesn’t demand you declare if your loins are a buffet of love or a romantic dinner for two. If your love life is a jackknifed tractor trailer, keep it between you and the other people whose lives you’re probably making miserable. You might think that when your friends see your relationship status, they think “This friend of mine leads a passionate, exciting and occasionally melancholy life!” No. What we think is “dingbat.”

The whole “it’s complicated” is such a lame affectation. People with genuinely complicated lives don’t bitch and moan about their complicated lives. They’re out there, knee-deep in trouble, trying to simplify their lives. If you have time to post on Facebook, your life isn’t complicated. Annoying? Most definitely. But complicated? Please. Maybe you’re just befuddled by life’s choices. So many choices! Crunchy or smooth? Large or extra large? Commit or, like, fool around?

Friends of mine who have chosen “it’s complicated” on Facebook remind me of those co-workers who are all talk, no work. They’re always the first to say “my plate is full,” right before eating a donut and then napping at their desk with their eyes open. The lady or the dude doth protest too much, methinks! That’s a quote by Shakespeare, who is a successful Hollywood screenwriter. He’s right, methinks.

I love Facebook. I truly do. Because of Facebook, I know what kind of food my friends are eating. In turn, I can upload pictures of me eating as well. Truly, we live in the future. The communication revolution has harmonized all of humanity’s individual voices into one, single, ugly grunt. But the “it’s complicated” option really polishes my rage knob. It just serves to encourage drama queens. It’s also vaguely insulting. I’m not dumb. When I see “it’s complicated,” I know it’s not, so why lie to me and your other 783 close friends?

The cyborgs who run Facebook should abolish this relationship status. If it’s still important to allow users to express their hot Sloppy Joe relationships, perhaps there are alternatives to a phrase that makes some people feel like they’ve got more layers than they actually have. Instead of “it’s complicated,” why not “off my meds”? Or maybe “same old, old!”

Or how about a relationship status that actually tells the truth behind the phrase “it’s complicated.” Because, let’s be honest, “it’s complicated” is code for “I’m cheating!”


%d bloggers like this: