Tag Archives: Stress

“F” in Stress

Lately, I had a newfound interest in reading and writing, (perhaps on anything), a while ago I just finished reading an article all about stress and thought that some information could be of any use to others specially those like me, who had made an unwritten pact between stress itself.

Stress, is perhaps one of the most widespread and popular word in the town. In a fast paced busy world we have, avoiding being in such state is nearly impossible. But in fairness to one of the most unwanted mental/emotional strain known to man, the term stress is often used or regarded as in a wrong way. Stress is often related to any strain, worry, tension or difficulty we have, but then, at some point that may not really be the case. We may be suffering from a different suspect: depression, disappointment etc. which is far from being “stress”.

Fight – one of the three “F” options for managing stress (the other being flee and flow) is the most destructive. You win by punches, but you inflict psychological wounds on someone. Flee takes you nowhere. Flow is the best.

Whatever you resist, persists, or as they say – “pag pinigil, lalong manggigigil”. Why is that you can choose your friends but not your family? You can have your “dream guy or girl” but then you can’t force him or her to like you as well. Same banana.

Relationships – that’s the heart of EQ. The test is when you’re in conflict, and it will always happen. And when it comes, it won’t hurt to swallow your pride once in a while. It’s not fattening anyway. Self-confidence is good but healthy self-esteem is better. Second, consider anyone innocent until proven guilty, withhold any judgments on someone until things are absolutely clear. Never assume nor guess.

These two actions: humility and open-mindedness-cure the two causes of conflict, pride and prejudice. They make you “flow” and it makes life a little less complicated.

Pain is an event, suffering is a choice. You can’t change people but you can change yourself. Your constructive energy influences others, and can miraculously change them on their own.

And life is a relationship. Let’s not push. Don’t hit with fatal mistakes. Dance with the music. Don’t fight, don’t flee, just flow.


That’s the manliest thing you can do.


One for the Stressed

Getting criticized your supervisor; finding out that someone you love has lied to you; receiving some bad news — these things cause stress. And stress has negative consequences, as you well know. But these are only stressful events. The source of stress that wreaks the greatest havoc on your health and sanity is ongoing stressful circumstances.

But there is something you can do about it. When you have an ongoing stressful circumstance in your life, you can modify your level of responsibility. Either take more responsibility or less. Start by asking yourself, “Am I trying to control something I can’t or shouldn’t control?” or “Is there something I should take responsibility for that I have been leaving out of my control?”

It might help to write it out. Write the questions and then jot down some ideas — where are you taking too much or too little control of some aspect of your life?

If something is out of your control (or is none of your business and you’ve been trying to make it your business), you will relieve yourself of a lot of stress by letting go of it. Drop that one. Recognize it’s out of your control and busy yourself with things that are in your control. You may be in the habit of trying to control that thing, so you’ll have to remind yourself again and again for a couple of weeks: “Oh yeah, I’m not trying to control that anymore.” Write it on a card and carry it with you. Post notes to yourself on your bathroom mirror. Do whatever you have to do to remember you no longer have to waste your energy trying to control that thing.

Now, if you find something you should and can control and haven’t been, roll up your sleeves and get to work on solving the problem.Deliberately take steps to repair the troubling circumstances. That’ll relieve your stress better than anything else. It may be difficult at first; it may actually cause you extra stress to face the situation and try to deal with it, but in the long-term, your stress level will go down.

Take responsibility for what you are responsible for, and stop taking responsibility for what is not your responsibility. It’s that simple. Control what you can control, and let the rest go. It will relieve a great deal of your stress. Control stress by stressing control.

Control what is your responsibility.

Learn it. Love it. Live with it.

Reminiscing is quite amusing at some point. Upon checking my old blogs at my short-lived and now lost aybanlim.multiply site, I saw some interesting entries, most were silly, but some just reminded me of how I am back then. Fast rewind, had I really gone through that before? Did I just type those entries? Pathetic would be harsh, but I did almost crossed that…

My July 21, 09′ entry:

Enamored. The state I am currently being dragged into, causing my heart to break and my mind to lose control.

I’m still in trance after a long stretch of physical, mental, and emotional ups and downs. It’s my second day at the office and I have not been busy this much for quite a while. I waited long to be this occupied, this is the easiest and most productive escape I can get and the fact that my office mates are as equally humble and kind and accommodating as my peers is a big bonus, but all this does not help to lighten the short-lived enchantment from my adornment to someone dear to my heart, and it is really getting worse.

I’m working full-time now, I wake up five thirty in the morning, reach office after two hours of travel and traffic, leaves at seven-thirty, and gets home by eleven… the kind of schedule that I wanted to keep my mind off from wandering on off-putting downbeat of reality.

Love is really making me miserable. I am beginning to hate the very concept of it. Bitter I am not; it’s just that it seems that I have received all the misfortune this crap can give. Falling for the right one at the wrong time, wasting time waiting for nothing, expecting, assuming, and gaining zilch and but a slap-in-the-face dose of bitter truth that I am stupid.

This entire emotional affliction, the never-ending calls of distress, the fast ending euphoric events that I badly miss, consumes every bit of my realistic prowess.

But then, I’m getting the hang of it, I’m learning to play the game. The past few days, I really changed… a lot; I’m already learning to live a carefree life. No hassles, no expectations, no demands, no pressures, no pain… and not even wondering what comes next or what to do tomorrow… all fun. The influence of the mean and happy-go-lucky world is starting to unveil and I’m very much willing to embrace reality now neither at its best nor to its worst. Come what may… I’ll just enjoy  what’s around.


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